16 Sep

2am!

It’s 2 am.   Laying in bed looking up at the slanted roof of the loft I am trying to sleep in. Thoughts are raging through my head as I attempt to understand the changes I feel in my body – to try and understand at least.

I wait.  I wait for a different throb somewhere else and suddenly realize that I have not been able to actually separate my toes for a few weeks now.  Not just because I have not been able to use my fingers the way I used to, but also because of the pain in my toes.

Can I even begin to understand RA?